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Cabin-boy

Royal Yacht

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I suspect many readers of and contributors to this forum have heard the reports in recent weeks of calls for the government to either re-commission the Britannia or fund the construction of a new Royal Yacht. Well, I have come up with an alternative idea, and one which surprised even me with regard to its genius!! Before I go any further let me just say that Cabin-girl served home-made mushroom soup last night which might have a bearing on what follows.

 

The problem with both of the aforementioned ideas is the time needed for the vessel to be ready. My solution provides a more or less instant solution. The government should buy, for the nation, the very well equipped and almost brand new ferry Nova Star, currently crossing the Med near Gibraltar. She should immediately be repainted in the colours of the Union Flag and renamed ‘Spirit of British Independence’, registered in the Port of London. She will then have the role of a floating, and very flexible (which the other ideas are not), trade vessel for Great Britain able to visit ports around the world to enhance our negotiating stance with other nations.

 

A few internal and external changes will be required, but nothing that can’t be done before next March. She already has a helicopter spot on her topsides and this may need to be reinforced and a hanger added depending on whether she is to carry an aircraft or not. Internally a dozen VIP cabins would need to be created, probably by combining some of the existing ones along with the conversion of at least one lounge into a conference room. Some of the other cabins would be reallocated for the use of a complement of Royal Marines for security purposes as well as ceremonial concerts etc. The rest would be for visiting trade delegations to use. The dining areas would be upgraded with more appropriate fixtures and fittings. The restaurants would serve a selection of the finest British cuisine combined with international food depending on the country visited. There would be a table service restaurant for the VIP delegations and a self-service for other visitors. The restaurants and the onboard shop would then be open to any visitors in international ports who wished to come on board to sample British culture and the shop would stock a range of traditional products from Scottish woollen sweaters to Cornish pasties as well as plenty of Marmite and tea. The vehicle decks would serve two purposes. Firstly there would be a garage on the upper level for a fleet of diplomatic vehicles allowing our trade delegation to travel to meetings whilst abroad. Secondly the freight deck would become a vast showroom to display the best examples of British engineering products ranging from cars through construction equipment to military vehicles etc. Other internal spaces would be used for tourism promotion with films showing British tourist attractions as well as promoting culture. As such the vessel could host film premiers or concerts for invited guests.

 

When the vessel is not needed for this role the Royal Family would be able to make use of her for State Visits (where appropriate) and she could even be used to offer cruises around the British Isles during the summer months. Assuming the negotiations take several years to conclude the vessel will pay for itself in terms of flexibility, impact and prestige. Once she is no longer needed for this role she could be returned to normal ferry service offering a luxury charter car and passenger only service from Britain to foreign destinations depending on the need (I’m thinking along the lines of taking car-club members to Le Mans for the 24-hour race or hosting British athletes’ families during the Olympic games etc).

 

Anyway, that’s my idea for what it’s worth. Any comments or feedback? Ed

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A good idea cabin-boy but I think you will need to change the name of the ship. If you call it the "Spirit of British Independence" when it sets sail independently it will head full steam ahead into the nearest rocks. I would suggest a name change to "The Titanic British Spirit of Independence". The addition of the word "Titanic" would ensure that it would ignore the rocks and set out looking for icebergs instead. This would make your project much safer as icebergs, being rarer than rocks, make a smaller target. The good news doesn't stop there. As you had the foresight to add the word "British" to the name. At a stroke you have eliminated all danger as the ship would be so blinkered that even if it did manage to get anywhere near an iceberg it would be unable to see it or agree a stratagy to hit it.

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A good idea cabin-boy but I think you will need to change the name of the ship. If you call it the "Spirit of British Independence" when it sets sail independently it will head full steam ahead into the nearest rocks. I would suggest a name change to "The Titanic British Spirit of Independence". The addition of the word "Titanic" would ensure that it would ignore the rocks and set out looking for icebergs instead. This would make your project much safer as icebergs, being rarer than rocks, make a smaller target. The good news doesn't stop there. As you had the foresight to add the word "British" to the name. At a stroke you have eliminated all danger as the ship would be so blinkered that even if it did manage to get anywhere near an iceberg it would be unable to see it or agree a stratagy to hit it.
😄 Nice - love it.

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Ah! Finally some support. Thank you. By my calculations if all 17 million people who voted to leave the EU chipped in a tenner each that would cover the cost. Then the price of running her could be met 50/50 by businesses using her as a floating showcase for their exports and the government. Ed

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Maybe this could be Bretagne's future 😊 she almost has the name on her already !! LOL ! She certainly has the looks and size about her.

 

just a bit of tongue and cheek 😉

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Ah! Finally some support. Thank you. By my calculations if all 17 million people who voted to leave the EU chipped in a tenner each that would cover the cost. Then the price of running her could be met 50/50 by businesses using her as a floating showcase for their exports and the government. Ed
Nah, the Brexiters want one - they pay, fair dos? What exports - we will be lucky to be able to export fresh air... She would be staffed by dole claimants who will be forced to do the job as there would be no Brits wanting to do any of the stuff like domestic work or anything menial - jobs which are never beneath foreign nationals who do not turn their noses up at graft. Your meals would be served by work experience kiddies, amd probably cooked by them too. My guess is if a Royal Yacht was brought back, she would just be an example of the great British Dole Queue put to work, paid for by Brexiters taxes.....😄👍

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e

Here's another suggestion for a new Royal Yacht, given all your negative comments last time around, and this one won't cost a penny.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-39026845

Ed.

 

400 million and it is one of the ugliest sailing vessels I have ever seen. Just shows money doesn't buy you taste. Surely he could have had something lovely like this one below. I know beauty is in the eye of the beholder and there will be somebody on here that disagrees with me but come on...

The Queen wouldn't be seen dead on Yacht A

 

Shamoun%20-%20Photo%20Credit%20Hoek%20Brokerage.jpg

Edited by robbie

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